Your late teens/early twenties are a funny time of life. You’re just learning how to make it on your own in the big wide world; navigating the world of uni, work or whatever path you’ve chosen for yourself. It’s not easy. It can be made even harder when everyone has an opinion on what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. The constant questioning from others, no matter how well meaning they are, can make you feel as though you’re doing everything wrong. Here’s a few questions that I’m SO fed up of being asked… and my response to them.
Why are you still single?
Because I really really (and I can’t stress this enough) really enjoy being single!! I’m young and there’s no rush at all for me to get into a relationship. If I find a guy that I like and the potential for a relationship comes up then great! But if not, that’s fine too. There’s really no rush for me to settle down- I’m not even 20 yet! Everyone gets into relationships in their own time, and it’s just not mine yet.
Why are you always so tired?
Because learning how to balance uni, cooking, cleaning, washing clothes (when I remember and can afford it) and a social life is super exhausting!! Throw into that a whole host of coursework deadlines and exam revision and it’s no wonder you have yourself one super tired Emily. I’ll get used to it, it will just take time. In the mean time, please allow me some grace (and my afternoon nap)!
Are you really going to wear that?
Yes, yes I am! Okay, it might not be your choice of outfit but it makes me feel good and I like it. Please, unless what I’m wearing is super inappropriate, don’t make me feel bad about something I felt so good about. All it takes is one comment like that to make me suddenly feel really bad about myself. If you don’t like my outfit please just keep it to yourself.
What are you doing after university?
Who the heck knows!?! I have a rough idea, but I don’t know fully what I’ll be doing. I hardly ever plan past the next day so to know what I’m doing two years down the line is a big step. All I can say is that I’ll work it out before I get to graduation!
Why are you spending your money on that?
Because I want to! And, if I spend all of my money on things that I don’t need instead of the essentials, then that’s my own fault. I will learn from my mistakes and I won’t do it again (hopefully). At the end of the day, I need to learn these things, and it’s best I do it now rather than later on in life.
The bottom line
Everyone is journeying their own path. We could maybe all stand to have a little bit more understanding and a little bit less judgement. If you don’t agree with the path that someone has taken that’s okay… maybe they don’t agree with yours. If you’re genuinely worried about someone think about re-framing your language so that you come across as loving rather than judgemental. It’s something we can all work on.