Choose Your Self-Narrative Wisely


Lisa Alioto

01 October 2020 28 comments

What we focus on becomes our reality.  That is why it’s so important that the self-talk and narrative that we tell ourselves is positive, productive, and healthy for us.

Become Aware of Your Narrative

What are the stories you tell yourself about you?  Is your self-talk positive?   I can do this…   I have inner-strength…  In a clutch, I am good…   Or do your sentences start with, I never, I can’t, I don’t…. 

As a first step toward self-correcting your narrative, if you need it, you must become aware of it.   Only once you are aware of it can you make changes to it.  But… Why change a narrative it if it’s just internal beliefs?  Well, because the stories we tell ourselves about us shape our reality.   If we want a positive, productive, and healthy reality, it starts with awareness.

Get Rid of Your False Stories

Once you know your stories, divide them up between the productive ones and the non-productive ones.  Take your list of unproductive ones and write stream of consciousness in a journal and really feel in your body what you’re getting from these limiting beliefs.  Really push to get them all on the page.  Then look carefully at your list of false rewards for what they are:  scared parts of yourself seeking comfort.

Then, replace the feelings you got from these false rewards with feelings of joy, power, and excitement that stepping into who you truly are and who you will become with your new narrative will bring.  Keep envisioning what it looks and feels like to have this new reality come to fruition.  Repetition is key.  The more you say it, feel it, believe it, the more it becomes your new story, your new reality.

Go For It

Once you have your new stories nailed down, go for it!  Take action.  Put them into reality through actions that reflect that new narrative and enjoy the fruits of your efforts!

This most likely will mean changing up your routine, as your new narrative will likely involve new habits.  Don’t be shy – push yourself toward what will likely be uncomfortable for a bit, knowing that the longer you stick with it, it will become the new authentic you.    And then… enjoy yourself and your story… for you created it, you deserve it!

What is your Reality?

Does it need some reshaping?   Do you feel there are stories you tell yourself that limit your way in life?   What strategies do you use to overcome them?

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28 thoughts on “Choose Your Self-Narrative Wisely

  1. The problem is my physical health problems have made it impossible for me to find the positives, because they hold me back so much ☹️

    1. Lisa Alioto

      I too have a lot of physical health problems as well. I do still encourage you to try to identify when you are having negative self-talk and to at least top it, if not turn it around. It’s so worth it, if you can manage it at the time.

  2. My self-narrative is definitely limiting at times so these tips will definitely come in handy! For me, a lot of it is chronic illness related. I’ll feel like I can’t do certain things because I’m anticipating a certain physical response (pain, fatigue, etc) but I’ve lost sight of what’s real and what’s just based in fear of those responses, if that makes sense? Definitely something I need to work on. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing! 🙂

    1. Lisa Alioto

      It definitely makes sense Hayley – I have a chronic illness too and it certainly does add extra challenges to this!

  3. Our self-narrative is the biggest thought work we can do for ourselves. Lovely post!

    1. Lisa Alioto

      Thank you Sayantika – I totally agree!

  4. Hi Lisa. Wise words indeed. I’m a very positive person (often much to my wife’s annoyance!) but, ironically, I do find myself talking down my blogging skills 🙂

    1. Lisa Alioto

      Hi Richie, you are a very talented blogger! Don’t ever forget that! 🙂

  5. I love this! This has been a hard year for so many, so I imagine positive self talk can use work for lots of people. Myself included! Thanks for sharing!

    1. Lisa Alioto

      You are welcome Jennifer Yes, I thought we were due for some extra self-care right now as we go into Fall

  6. Hi Lisa, you have so beautifully stated the need for positive self-narrative. I am sometimes in so much self-doubt sometimes but as you mentioned, we need to convert it into feelings of joy. Thank you so much for sharing this post.

    1. Lisa Alioto

      You are very welcome Pooja – I’m glad you enjoyed it!

  7. Good post! It’s high time we learned to be a positive thinker. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Lisa Alioto

      YOu are welcome Fadima – glad you enjoyed it

  8. This is definitely something I’m going to take into account!

    Love, Amie ❤
    The Curvaceous Vegan

    1. Lisa Alioto

      Glad to hear it Amie! 🙂

  9. The things we talk about ourselves are important and it can build us or destroy us. This is very helpful. Thank you for sharing!

    1. Lisa Alioto

      You are welcome Fransic – glad you enjoyed the article!

  10. Yes! Awareness is always the first step in improving something. Mindset and inner monologue can really make a big difference!

  11. Lisa Alioto

    It sure can – I completely agree Clarissa!

  12. Hi there..

    Thank you so much for this article. J quite agree that we have to take charge of our own narrative. Our narratives certainly shape our reality.

    I am glad to have found your blog. I will certainly come back.


    1. Lisa Alioto

      That is great to hear Ray – would love to have you continue to stop by!

  13. It is so important to be aware of the stories we tell and to recognize that we are able to rewrite our story. Thank you for sharing this post!

    1. Lisa Alioto

      You are welcome Tiffany – glad you enjoyed it!

  14. This is a really great post. It really made me think about my story and in what ways I want it to continue.

    1. Lisa Alioto

      That makes me happy – thanks for sharing!

  15. This is a really awesome post and it made me think. I’m guilty of a lot of the negative thoughts and get stuck in my past traumas. I’m bookmarking this. Thank you!

    1. Lisa Alioto

      You are welcome Melissa – glad you enjoyed it!

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