I love doing things for people who love and care about me. Friends, family even acquaintances. I gave my generosity, honesty and my loyalty to them because it felt like they give me a lot of appreciation and encouragement. I loved to hear their feedback and I was always doing my best to meet their expectations, until one day, I realise that my life had become a prison because of their judgment.
I was someone who found myself searching for validation through other’s opinions. I was easily offended when they were disappointed, when people offered criticisms, I become fearful and hurt. In the end I started to change myself to fit with their views. Whenever they asked for something or made their opinion know I would say agree! No matter what the request or opinion was, the answer was yes, and I began to lose my own voice. I started to struggle to authenticate myself and I was losing everything that made me, me. I struggled to determine my own identity and be myself.
Until one day I realised, I need to STOP PEOPLE PLEASING.
Yes, it feels good to be liked, but you don’t need to pretend to impress others, or gain their approval. Don’t conform for the sake of pleasing others. Mold yourself into the person that you want to be. Pleasing everybody is never your responsibility.
If they like you for who you are, good! Then they are true friends and family! If not, it’s their problem and not yours. Stop worrying about pleasing others so much, do what makes you feel happy. Their expectations can’t help you to be yourself. When I realised this, I felt myself grow as a person and I have composed 3 points to help anyone else who feels like they are in the same situation:
Without any doubt and fear. Be confident that your personality, ideas and goals deserved to be voiced. Never be afraid to express yourself and never apologize for saying what you feel.
Show the real you without any hesitations. As I’ve already mentioned, if they don’t like you, it’s their problem not yours. You cannot please everybody and not everyone will like you. That is life.
Lastly! If someone is ignoring you or berating you then that means you should let go. Give yourself some worth. AND YOU ARE WORTH IT, BELIEVE ME! Don’t waste your time on all the people who are giving you a hard time, just to meet their expectations.
We live in world full of expectations. Sometimes people will disregard what you have and what you done. They’ll always judge. So, with the mental note self to ‘STOP PLEASING PEOPLE’ and instead focus on my own personal goals, I find my life less stressful and oppressive. If I fail, it’s none of their business. But at least I know I tried my hardest to strive toward my own ideals.
Whether you want to grow your skills, get picked up by an employer who needs your specific knowledge, earn more qualifications for your CV, or some combination of the three, the My Need to Live community is here to support you.Join the platform
The My Need to Live Support Directory is a resource created by us to help 16 – 24 year olds find the help, support, organisation or practitioner you need to help them with their wellbeing when they need it.Support directory
Growing up I was often the overweight kid as I think back over my life, taking a looking into my history and the photo album. Pictures of my youth as a young boy who had a normal weight, thin and healthy but as I got older my weight ballooned as I looked no longer healthy. […]
Let’s face it, asking for help sometimes can be tough. It may feel like we are admitting that we don’t know something that we feel we should. Or perhaps we are nervous that someone will laugh at our question. Or be bothered by it. The reality is actually quite different. Most people LOVE to be […]