Love, joy, and happiness… Arguably, some of the best emotions that are out there. Yet some choose instead to see the glass half empty, rather than half full. To see the problem over the solution. To predict failure over success.
These are all choices that we consciously make and we each have our own valid reasons for our choices. Is one better than the other? One viewpoint certainly does seem to be brighter than the other, more conducive to success but I’m not so sure I would say one is right or wrong over the other.
Choosing vs. Being
I fully believe that these things are a choice. We aren’t predetermined to be unhappy or focused on failure over success. We aren’t born with a problem-oriented disposition. And while our past experiences may lead us more easily down one path than the other, still, we choose our path.
Why Not Chose Love, Joy, and Happiness?
As a strongly optimistic person myself, many people ask me why I constantly see the upside to everything. Why don’t I presume that the project will fail, that the worst will happen, or that the odds are against me?
I’ve especially gotten this question since I got a chronic illness. Many have even told me it’s impossible for me to have my happy disposition with my illness. That I can’t possibly believe and chose love, joy, and happiness over all else when given the opportunity. That my future just isn’t that bright. To them I say, my illness isn’t me. I am so much more than my illness. And maybe even because of my illness, I’m even inspired moreso to choose happiness every moment I can.
Is Choosing Love, Joy and Happiness Just Setting Yourself Up for Failure?
Admittedly, failures happen. While I may have chosen to view something as ending up happily, it may not. Many have told me that they would prefer to not set their expectations high so they won’t be disappointed. And that they would prefer not to make themselves vulnerable to another so as to avoid getting hurt. To a point, I get this. Disappointment can be a hard dish to take, especially on a particularly challenging day. But is this a way of life? To constantly assume doom and gloom and be happy only when it doesn’t happen? It seems like you are missing out on a lot of joy with this perspective, the joy that comes with love and all kinds of successes. Personally, I prefer to hope for the best and accept the rest.
If you Think It….
On a final note, I am a believer that if you think it, believe in it, visualize it, it’s more likely to come to you. There are many books on this – stating that if you believe something will happen you naturally set up the environment to increase the chances of it happening. Therefore, you are more likely to experience success.
To the contrary, if you believe a project will fail you likely won’t put as much effort into it. The less effort you put into it, the less likely you will be to succeed. Similarly, if you don’t fully go in on a relationship, you won’t experience the full joys of being in one. You may even quickly feel disappointment from it.
Just my Thoughts; What’s Yours?
What are your thoughts on love, joy, and happiness? Do you go all in for it or do you prefer to wait for the outcome before experiencing these emotions? Do you choose to be glass half full or half empty? What’s your chain of thought on this?
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01 July 2020
I definitely think happiness is ultimately a choice. You might have something like depression that doesn’t make it easy, but you can choose how you respond to things. Great post!
Thank you Jennifer – I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for sharing your insights!
I always try to see everything positively and from many sides. I choose to wait for the outcome before experiencing these emotions. For example, I simply feel happy when I can finish all the things that I had to do that day. It’s simple but brings a tiny bit of happiness. If I can’t finish them, I just feel that I wasting too much time and feel regret.
Thank you for this great post! xxx
I find the simple things sometimes bring me the most happiness and a complete to do list definitely brings me happiness!
It’s not possible to choose love, your body releases the chemicals that trigger list that leaves to love, but you don’t get a say in any stage of that, no matter how hard you try, you can’t make yourself love someone.
Same pretty much goes for happiness, you can do thing that could and should make you happy, but that doesn’t guarantee that it will. If you’re chronically depressed, more often than not, the fun thing you’re doing doesn’t bring you happiness. If you’re lucky, you’ll get a temporary lift in happiness, but then you have the crash that comes afterwards which is more unpleasant than just maintaining a consistent depressive state.
Also, a glass is never empty, a glass filled halfway with a drink is filled the rest of the way with air
Thanks for sharing your insights Unwanted Life!
I tend to flip from one to the other to be honest! Some days I’m definitely half full but other days it’s the opposite – so I’m firmly on the fence, haha! Lisa
It sounds like you have a solid balance going one there Lisa 🙂
Lovely post. It’s always great to choose to see things positively.
Thank you Isabelle! glad you enjoyed the article!
Such a great post! I try to see the glass half full as much as I can! It definitely helps with my attitude and perspective on life when I am more positive!
Thank you Charity! It definitely does help with our attitudes and perspectives when we are more positive! 🙂
Like you, I definitely like to hope for the best and try to accept the rest. I’m naturally a pessimist so I have to force myself to think more positively!
Anika | chaptersofmay.com
I think that’s great that you have that awareness Anika and have worked to try to be glass half full! 🙂
I try to be glass half full as much as I can, which isn’t always easy when you have long term depression. I’m determined to be optimistic, especially as I get older.
Good for you Adam!! I think your efforts will really pay off 🙂
Good post. I believe love, joy, and happiness are the three important things in life.
I do too Fadima! 🙂
I’m both depending on the situation to be honest! I totally see the disappointment angle, and your response about that not being a great way to live. When it comes to goals and aspirations I have a two tier approach, the one that I think is definitely achievable and the big one that probably seems out of reach. That way the satisfaction of reaching the smaller one stops the disappointment of not reaching the bigger one from ruining the mood x
Sophie
Interesting insights Sophie – thanks for sharing!
Happiness should always be the first choice. You should always stay positive even when things are bad because that’s what keeps us going. I like to hope for the best.
I like to hope for the best too Single mom 🙂
I am definitely a glass half full person. Choosing the positive in any situation is not easy but has always worked best for me. Great post!
I’m glad to hear that Tina!! And thank you!
You’ve made some very good points, especially around that failure-belief system and in perhaps asking ourselves ‘why not’ choose these things. I struggle a lot with guilt, especially since losing the job I loved due to the ongoing surgeries I’ve had, and it’s been more detrimental and pervasive in every area of my life than I’d initially realised. For me, guilt is a big barrier to choosing joy and happiness, but I know I need to work on it. This is such positive and encouraging post, Lisa, thanks for sharing it.
Caz xx
I similarly have felt guilt with my chronic condition, which makes choosing happiness even more of a choice. But a well worth it choice. 🙂
Great post! This is a realization I personally had to deal with. I think I’ve only just gotten a handle on it a few years ago actually. I was diagnosed with depression and PTSD at the age of 5. I felt that I wasn’t physically capable of being happy. Like they said, something was wrong with my brain chemistry. It wasn’t until I was about 29 that I thought, maybe that want true. Maybe it was harder for me to be happy than others, but maybe, if I put conscious effort into it, I could feel the happiness many others came by so easily. And I did. I put some serious thought into what I truly enjoyed. And then I made time for that in my life, and I didn’t let anything come before that. 5 years later and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. That’s not too say I don’t still have my bad days or weeks, but I do believe happiness is a choice now. More than that, I believe happiness is a habit, a lifestyle.
Clarissa – what a truly inspiring story!!! Thank you so much for sharing it!
Very thought-provoking. I would like to think I am a glass-half-full type of person, and always try to look into the positives of everything, but at times that can be hard to do. I think it also depends on who you have around you, as other people’s feelings/thoughts etc can have an impact on how you act and feel.
Thanks for sharing!
Aimsy xoxo
Aimsy’s Antics
I completely agree Aimsy – who you surround yourself with definitely makes a difference!