As we transition from our parent’s house to our own living space that often requires roommates in order for it to be affordable. In such cases, after living almost 20 years with one set of rules all of a sudden the game has changed and you are playing with a whole new set of rules.
Get to Know Each Other
First, and most important, it’s key to get to know your roommates. This includes everything from where they are from to what they like and their pet peeves. Just as much as you want them to be a good room mate to you, you want to be a good roommate to them.
How do you do this? Spend some quality time together on your first few weeks together. Go out and have some fun, get to know each other in a variety of settings, and eventually start setting some ground rules.
Ground Rules
In any living situation there are spoken (and unspoken) ground rules. It’s often easiest to lay out the rules early on so everyone is clear what is expected of each other. Who does what chores and what activities are acceptable and unacceptable.
For example, what are the rules surrounding guests? What about food-sharing? Will everyone have their own food space or will food be shared among everyone? How will bills be paid, such as electricity, rent, etc… Who will do the dishes and who takes out the garbage? All great discussions to have early on to avoid pent up frustration later.
Issues Will Arise
It’s important to accept that even the best laid plans (rules) will go awry from time to time. It’s often a great idea to set up a plan for how to handle disagreements to avoid them boiling over into big arguments?
For example, will you have weekly roommate meetings or will they be more ad hoc as issues arise? What’s the rules for the discussions (i.e. no name calling)? What if a resolution can’t be reached?
It Will Be Okay
Above all, know that it will be okay. Living with someone is one of the closest relationships you can have with someone. There is bound to be disagreements – this is only natural. Don’t feel like you’ve failed roommate living 101 if you seem to keep having riffs with your roomie. It will happen. And you will grow and learn from them. You will become a better roommate to this roommate and those down the line. It will be okay! ????
What’s your Experience with a Roommate?
Have you lived with roommates? What has been your experience? How did you handle riffs within the close living quarters?
Comments are closed.
Whether you want to grow your skills, get picked up by an employer who needs your specific knowledge, earn more qualifications for your CV, or some combination of the three, the My Need to Live community is here to support you.
Join the platform
01 March 2023
30 October 2022
The My Need to Live Support Directory is a resource created by us to help 16 – 24 year olds find the help, support, organisation or practitioner you need to help them with their wellbeing when they need it.
Support directoryLosing one’s job is painful, it can be one of the most destructive events happening in ones life. I should know I have been through a few of them. Most recently I was laid off March 2nd, 2023. An unexpected shock as the organization I worked for gave no indication there would be any form […]
29 April 2023
0 comments
Joseph Meyer
The pain of being laid off is affecting thousands, but mostly in big tech. It saddens me to say I was just laid off and although I did not work or one of the major big tech companies like Twitter, Alphabet and others we were still apart of financial tech. Here is a recent article […]
01 March 2023
0 comments
Joseph Meyer
Happy New Year 2023! What the new year means to me, to you, to the world. It means something different for everyone. Some create resolutions for the new year to be new person, new goals. I am often reminded of when I would attend my local gym, a 24-hour fitness which by the way is […]
15 January 2023
0 comments
Joseph Meyer
01752 977 600
Community sign in
01752 977 600
ERM sign in
04 May 2021
I’ve never lived with room mates, I went from living with my paren, to living with my now partner and mother to my children. I don’t think I’d like it, people tend to stress me out ????
It can be quite a challenge – or a blast – depending on your roommates and also how you enjoy living with people.
I have lived with roommates back then in school ????, its kind of challenging having different mindset among you and different believe but at the same time its fun.
Completely agree Constance!
I’ve lived with roommates and it’s one of the most exciting experience I’ve had. Everyone with different backgrounds and different perspectives, it’s challenging but it’s fun. I have no regrets
That is awesome Rayo – It sounds like you made the very most of these opportunities and really enjoyed them!
I had both good and bad experiences with roommates at uni, ground rules are a big one and you just have to hope everyone sticks with them!
Very very true Hannah Louise!
I currently still live at home with parents and plan to move out with my boyfriend in the next year or two. I don’t think I’d like to live with room mates, I like my own space and I think I’d find it difficult.
It does certainly come with challenges (and rewards). Best wishes on your upcoming move!
I haven’t lived with roommates, but I’ve been stuck at home with my family back in my childhood room and have been sharing it with my sister ever since the pandemic started. This sort of feels like having a roommate, in a way. It can definitely be challenging!
I bet Bella – that’s an interesting situation!
I too had roomies during my collages but all of them were so helpful and i know i am really lucky ????
That is awesome Yaaau5336! You were very lucky 🙂
I have briefly lived with a few roommates during university when I had a practice placement. I really enjoyed it, even though the NHS /on hospital site accommodation wasn’t the best. I made really great friends with one of the girls, and we are still friends to this day. The other girl tended to keep to herself, and we didn’t really see her that much. Definitely, an experience having roommates! I think you are right, everyone is different and you may have differing opinions…it is all about compromise, isn’t it?
Aimsy xoxo
Definitely – it’s a give and take situation for sure! Thanks for commenting Aimsy.
I was so lucky when I left for uni, my first set of flatmates all got on really well and we managed the whole year without a single issue. 2nd year was almost as perfect with only one person who ever caused a little friction, I’ve been really lucky! x
Sophie
You have been lucky Sophie – what an enriching experience!
Having roommates or people you share communal areas with can be fine if you’re living with people you know or friendly people, but it can be a nightmare with passive aggressive strangers who you only know because you live in the same building
One of the people I live with use to throw other people’s stuff in the bin if it was left out in the kitchen. He throw one person’s takeaway out, even though they’d only gone to the toilet. The guy can be a right nightmare
That sounds pretty rough – as you recently wrote – a little kindness will go a long way!
Such a good post!
Will be great for people starting uni
Thank you Kat – I hope so!
i actually have always lived with roommates, save for my parents. mostly because of price, but i have so many stories about roommates, both good and bad, that it’s kind of ludicrous. it’s definitely a learning curve and it can be hard, for some, to make that transition. if you have the opportunity, then i highly advise meeting with them and making sure you vibe well with them.
currently, i love all my roommates and it’s such a fun atmosphere with all animals and hilariousness.
It sounds like you have a very positive, growth attitude about it all! That’s fabulous Mochi!
I’ve never lived with roommates and I’d be unlikely to now but I can imagine it’s a quite difficult at first!
It definitely takes some getting used to but it can be a great experience with the right roommates!