For some, Facebook has become more than just posting life updates and instead has become selective postings on one’s life. In short, it often is the best of the best of life. Not the reality of life.
So, who cares? What’s the big deal? Well, at times that can create a depressing message in the minds of many, causing people to ponder, “Why does everything go right for that person and not me?” “Why can’t I be that happy. I must be doing something wrong.” “Everyone is having a brilliant time but me.”
What we can’t forget is that Facebook is just a slice of life. Most often people don’t share their troubles on Facebook. They share their successes, their wins, and their fun adventures. That can leave the rest of us onlookers thinking that this is their whole life. All while our whole life is filled with just as many wins, but also has a good handful of challenges too.
The problem is, on Facebook the challenges of others are often unseen. People often don’t post about the promotion they didn’t get, the project that failed, or the relationship that turned sour. With all good intentions, people want to show themselves in the best possible light and celebrate their happiness with their friends. Challenging moments are often more private and for the few, not the masses.
While none of it may be intentional, Facebook posts often have the effect of causing many to become depressed as they scroll through their feed. While we may know this is just a slice of life, that “best” slice of life is right there in our faces. It’s hard to ignore. It’s hard not to believe that this is a big slice of that person’s life. All while we are facing a daunting problem, a challenging task, or have just lost something valuable.
While many of us have learned to simply accept the posts for what they are, many of us have turned to shutting off our Facebook accounts altogether. Or taking a break from it. Social media can easily be all-consuming and perhaps this is the best solution for some. Time back in the day while at the same time not having to deal with the “fantasy” reel one gets when they open Facebook. This may be a one-stop-shop solution.
Others of us have altered their feed to only view posts from a few select friends, eliminating ourselves from being inundated by a long scroll of bliss. Others of us have continued to view the posts, keeping in mind that the posts are often just the best of the best of someone’s life.
There’s no right or wrong in how to handle it but I think it’s important to recognize and bring it out in the open that Facebook and other social media outlets do present a mental health challenge for many. While this posting trend is unlikely to change in the near future, it’s good to know that there are many healthy options for addressing the challenges it can present whether that’s going cold turkey, choosing to view a filtered version of Facebook, or simply accepting these posts for what they are, if that’s a viable solution.
One other option worth mentioning is joining Facebook pages you know will only post uplifting messages. Or, like NeedtoLive, pages that will provide you with interesting, informative messages on a variety of topics that intrigue you. Through utilizing this option, you are proactively making Facebook work best for you.
Whatever option you chose, one site that won’t let you down is this one – it’s filled with great deals!
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23 January 2020
I only use Facebook to keep up to date with the news and science pages I follow, and I totally miss and ignore people’s personal stuff. Although there seems to have been a recent change to how Facebook’s newsfeed works, so I don’t really use it anymore. Now I’m looking for a news app to fill the gap
I hear you Unwanted Life – the new algorithm that Facebook now uses has been disliked by many. Many of us are not seeing the things we want to see first or at all. Another reason to do what you are doing – proactively tailoring what you do see and ignoring the rest. I like to “see first” my favorite sites like Myneedtolive and other positive sites so I can see exactly what I want and ignore the rest if I don’t want to see it.
Thanks for sharing!
Wow that was a very direct and real post on FB. I always felt the same as you mentioned that not everyone feels happy with the success you just had. Great post !
Thank you Nisha – I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your comments!
I rarely use Facebook anymore as I feel like no one from my generation really posts on it anymore. Great thoughts!
Thanks for stopping by and commenting Evie – hope to see you again soon!
Lisa
I love this post! All of what you said is so very true! I mainly use FB to keep in closer contact with my childhood friends. We’ve stayed close for 50+ years, but with FB it’s easier to stay in daily contact now. Otherwise, I don’t scroll much on FB. I keep in mind that “it just is what it is”. Like the gossip rags! lol
I’m glad you enjoyed the post Sharon! You are so right – it is what it is. As long as we can keep that in mind, I think we are in good shape. 🙂
I barely check social media for personal reasons these days. Just way too much fake that can easily get you down. But in saying that, social media can actually be a source of humour and inspiration. As you said, we just need to follow the accounts that will uplift us. Thanks for this insightful post 🙂
Corrine – that’s exactly what I do. Follow the accounts that uplift us (and my family updates) and ignore the rest.
This is so true, and relevant to any platform. Look at the pictures across Instagram and you don’t generally see people’s struggles, their low points or the challenges that they have had to overcome. Instead, you’re inundated with smiles, laughter and good times. As long as we recognize and never forget this, I think it’s totally healthy to enjoy your favourite platforms, but always remember that you’re viewing someone’s highlight reel, not the whole movie…
Good point about this trend spreading across all of social media Britt! Thanks for sharing!
It’s so easy to think that everyone else’s life is perfect on FAcebook based on their pictures and statues. I learned to limit my time on social media and to remember that these are just highlights of good time.
It sounds like you’ve found a really healthy balance with it Lauren! 🙂
I dislike Facebook and haven’t been back for over two years now – so much about it annoys me – your post hits on many points so well said
Thank you – and thank you for stopping by Kate!
Completely agree – social media only shows a part of peoples lives and it does tend to be the bits they want you to see. Thank you for sharing!! Emma from Ecbc x
Agreed Emma! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
Facebook definitely has to be used with caution. So does all social media! People just post either good things, or super depressing things, and either can be triggered to a person who is depressed. Thanks for sharing!
Very true – it’s good to keep in mind that the triggers can come potentially from both ends.
Thanks for sharing Jen,
Lisa
It is interesting to hear the different features about Facebook these days. I mean, it is great to share your successes. This is the same for all social media – people tend to not share bad things that have happened, myself included. I feel like topics like this can be subjective to the person themselves – but we need to embrace everything.
Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me
I agree – it’s great to share your successes – and celebrate them with your friends. As you said, people tend not to share the bad things (understandably) – as long as we keep that in mind, I think it can help.
I never believed any happy story in social media in general. I agree with you, no one shares their troubles on Facebook.
Social media certain does have a tendency to present a shaded view – as long as we keep that in mind, we are ahead of the game. 🙂
I have to have a Facebook account because I manage some business pages and occasionally find work opportunities on there. Other than that, I rarely use Facebook for the exact reason you describe, namely because I get so fed up with all the perfect family photos and stories. Sometimes it’s like an eternal circle of round robins (like the annual Christmas card updates!). I much prefer Instagram and Twitter!
I hear you Lisa – sometimes it can get a bit much! Facebook has it’s benefits but it also has some drawbacks, for sure.
Lisa
Thank you for this post and the reminder that people really do just share their “bests” on Facebook.
You’re welcome Mai – thanks for stopping by!
This is so very true! I use Instagram more than Facebook, but it’s the same thing. People just show off the best versions of themselves and you are only getting a sliver of what their life is really like so you definitely shouldn’t compare yourself to it! Great post!
Thank you – I’m glad you enjoyed the article Charity!