Growing up, peer pressure was always there. It was no surprise that during the most evolving time of my life; from puberty to university, I cared a lot about what my peers thought of me. It creates a certain level of social anxiety in those that are natural worrier’s, as I was, as you care so much about what others think. 

What do you feel pressure about? 

During this time of your life, there are many firsts that happen. The first time you get drunk, the first time you go to a house party, first time you have sex, the list goes on. Teenagers and young adults have such a fear imbedded in them, a fear of missing out. No one wants to be seen as missing out, or not being cool enough to his or her friends and peers. 

This can in turn lead to other pressures. 

Sometimes, you can be put in uncomfortable situations, such as getting more drunk than you wish, going further sexually with someone than you wanted to or even getting pressured into smoking or taking drugs. 

I’ve thankfully always had quite a strong head on me when it comes to feeling pressure on these matters as I’ve had a great supportive circle of friends around me, but some people aren’t as lucky and can easily be mislead. There is nothing wrong with you if this is the case, as it is so easily done, but you have to remember what your morals and values are in life and try your best to stick to them. 

We are all different. 

We are all different people and have different values in life, so we need to just be respectful of what other people believe in. If someone wants to do anything mentioned in the last section, that is up to them. We may not all believe in the same things, tolerate the same things, or want the same things in life, but we need to understand that difference. Rather than piling on the pressure with one another to fit in, or try something, we just need to respect people’s boundaries and comfort zones. 

We are all unique, and there is nothing wrong with that. So just because you don’t want a social smoke, don’t allow someone else to make you buckle to do this. Or if you’re the one that enjoys a social smoke, don’t pressurise your friend that doesn’t want to smoke at all. Respect each other, for all the similarities and differences you have. 

How to stay strong when peer pressure is present. 

If you feel that you are constantly being pressurised to do something, or you end up feeling embarrassed, or less of a person due to social situations and dilemmas you find yourself in, you need to stay strong to the person you are. Practice positive self mantras, boost your self esteem by investing in yourself and never be afraid to be your true self. Learn to say no, it will be hard at first but it’s best to get this in place as early as possible so that it doesn’t become harder in the long run, or with bigger social pressures. Own yourself, be your unique individual self and don’t be afraid of that. 

Find someone you can talk to. 

If you have friends at university that you feel you can confide in, seek comfort and advice from them. In your peer groups, don’t be afraid to voice your opinions on why you’re not comfortable with a situation. Don’t pass judgment as you explain yourself, just simple say what you, as an individual don’t like. If they can’t respect your thoughts and feelings and keep pushing your, pressurising you, try to avoid hanging out with those people as they are not understandable reasonable friends or peers to be associating with. 

Also, don’t be afraid to seek support or guidance from your university. Always speak out and be heard, especially if the peer pressure is getting to you too much. Peer pressure is another form of bullying. If someone doesn’t respect you or stop, then it’s time to ditch that relationship, friendship or peer group and find other people to hang out with. 

I certainly felt peer pressure during my teenage years and young adult life, however, I was also surrounded by a strong support system. I stuck to my guns and never let anyone bully me into doing something. I would feel embarrassed on occasion, but I’m betting others felt exactly like me at the time too. No one, and nothing is worth pressurising yourself to do anything. Don’t forget to reach out if you need to, I did.