The new year is fast approaching and many of us will be starting to think about our new years resolutions. For some it might be to join a gym and lose some weight. For others it might be to give up smoking or to reduce your alcohol intake. Or perhaps it’s something a little more personal. Something that only affects you personally but by doing so will greatly improve your life.

I only have one resolution for 2021, and that is to be more selfish.

You might now be thinking that to make such a resolution is, well, selfish. But hear me out. I have my reasons.

Put yourself first

A lot of us try to live our lives selflessly. We go out of our way to help others. To be there when the people closest to us need us the most. And that’s all well and good in moderation.

But what I’ve found over the years is that the more you go out of your way to help other people, the more that is then expected of you. Rather than it being considered a kind and generous act that you might have undertaken once to help somebody, it then becomes expected that you should always do that thing indefinitely. Whether it is convenient or not.

What then ends up happening is that you are expected to do more and more for other people and, naturally, you end up having less time to spend on your own needs. As a result, your own hopes, dreams and ambitions become second to other peoples, and your own mental health and wellbeing begins to suffer.

That doesn’t mean that you should say no to everything anyone asks you to do. But you have to strike the right balance between what’s right for others and what’s right for you.

If somebody asks you to help them with something and it’s not convenient, say no.

If somebody expects you to do something and it’s likely to affect your own health and wellbeing, say no.

Don’t feel guilty about saying no either. No matter who the person asking you is or what their expectation of you happens to be, don’t ever feel obliged to do something just because somebody else expects you to do so.

If declining their request causes them to be offended, so what? That’s their problem. Not yours. You’re not responsible for anybody’s behaviour other than your own.

So next year I implore everybody reading this to try and put your own hopes and dreams first, and make your own health and wellbeing a priority. Be more selfish. You only have one life and that life is precious.