What Will People Think??

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Lisa Alioto

01 September 2020 34 comments

Have you ever noticed how much you worry about what people will think of what you are wearing, what you are doing or what you just said?  (Or maybe you are one of the lucky few that don’t worry a bit about these things).   I will fully admit that I still worry about these things at times.

Recently though, I read a book that helped me put things into perspective a bit.  And let me tell you, it was quite freeing!  So, I thought I would share it in case you too will find it freeing!

Trying to be Perfect

So many of us try so hard to be perfect with what we are doing and how we are presenting ourselves to the world.  But let’s be honest, we will never be “perfect” because there is no perfect.   There is always someone that is doing something different than us that you may perceive as “better.”  In almost every case, perfection is not a set standard, but is in the eye of the beholder.

I guess what I am saying is, let’s stop trying to be perfect because perfection is a moving target and depends on who is gauging it.   Instead let’s just try to be the best version of ourselves.  And most importantly, let’s just try to fully be our own unique selves, because that truly is perfection.

No One is Thinking About Us That Much

This may sound disheartening but please don’t let it.  It’s meant to be freeing.  In reality most people are thinking about themselves. They are not scrutinizing what we say, do, or are wearing.  They have their own worries and their focuses lie elsewhere.  While people’s attention may be drawn to us for a moment, that attention will soon enough shift right back to where it’s always been.  On themselves.

While this perspective may at first seem isolating and lonely, it’s actually quite liberating.  It takes the pressure off and opens the doors and windows to let us be ourselves, knowing that any judgment that is coming our way is fleeting at best.

Moral of the Story

Be you and know that being you is always more than enough!  When you know you’ve done your best – that is perfection, whether someone else judges it as such or not.  It’s your opinion that matters the most.   And while there will always be critics, remember that these same critics have short attention spans.  Even if you have a notable setback, their attention will be fleeting and they will quickly move on to the next shiny object!

Do You Worry about the “Critics?”

Do you worry what others think of you? Fret about not being perfect?  How do you handle this – what strategies work best for you?  How do you “free” yourself from these thoughts?

 

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34 thoughts on “What Will People Think??

  1. We can’t always worry about what people think of us. There will always be negative people out there for whatever reason. We need to be comfortable under our own skin.

    Nancy ✨ exquisitely.me

    1. Lisa Alioto

      So very true Nancy. Sometimes easier said then done, but very true!

  2. I used to worry a lot about the critics, working hard to try to be the person that I was under the impression that I was ‘supposed to be’. It dictated the way I acted, how I dressed, the activities I took part in, etc. The biggest positive shift in my life was the moment that I started to let that go and, instead, embrace who I truly am. I started to dress the way I wanted, dyed my hair, got a few additional tattoos, changed careers… I became the me that I always wanted to be. The best part is that I’ve never been happier!

    1. Lisa Alioto

      Britt that is an amazing transformation! How excited I am for you! Congratulations!

  3. I’m terrible for overthinking how other people think of me due to anxiety. In fact, I’m literally starting a new job this afternoon and my biggest fear is the opinions of others and whether they’ll think I’m capable of doing the job.

    Kate | thelittlecrunch.co.uk

    1. Lisa Alioto

      Hang in there Kate and remember – positive affirmations!!!

  4. I am a recovering perfectionist! I talk about letting go of control in therapy every week. I see a lot of it in my oldest. She’s only 5 so I am trying to nip it in the bud at an early age.

    1. Lisa Alioto

      Good for you Jen – it’s definitely a more peaceful life not worrying about being a perfectionist, as you already know.. 🙂

  5. I’ve been sloooowly trying to get this into my head! I used to care so much about what people thought when I was a kid, and it really affected me! I just laugh when I think about how much I cared about stupid things. My life would be much easier if I just learned how to stop caring earlier.

    1. Lisa Alioto

      Me too Anna, me too!

  6. Hi Lisa,

    I enjoyed reading this post. It’s funny because I have recently been reading books and watching videos on the topic. I totally agree that we should not compare ourselves to others, but we should focus on being the best version of ourselves.

    This thinking not only helps you get over what “critics” are saying, but deal with the biggest critic of all: yourself.

    Thanks for a nice post,

    Rebecca

    1. Lisa Alioto

      So very true – we often are our own worst critic. We really should be our biggest fan!

  7. Hey Lisa! This is such a great reminder for everyone who always overthinks what other people might say to them. I agree too that other people judgments just come and go and the more we realize that people focus on themselves, then we can focus more on ourselves too and practice being ourselves. ? thanks for sharing this!

    1. Lisa Alioto

      Great insights Elle – thanks for sharing!

  8. This is something I don’t struggle with that much – surprisingly! I’m actually quite sensible in that I know that nobody really gives a s*it and whatever you’re worried that they’re thinking, they’re 99.9% probably not.

    1. Lisa Alioto

      You’ve got a great grip on this Jenny!!

  9. I’ve ways worried about what people think of me, thanks to a childhood of racist abuse. As a result, the only validation that mattered was validation given by others rather than from within me. I’m getting better at adjusting that balance, but it’s not easy

    1. Lisa Alioto

      It definitely is not easy; a work in progress for most of us for sure!

  10. Hi Lisa! Working on this is a continual process for me. It is so freeing when I succeed. Thanks for posting!

    1. Lisa Alioto

      I find it so freeing as well when I succeed at it – which reinforces me doing it more often. Win-win!

  11. Was it a Brene Brown book by any chance? I got major Brene Brown vibes reading this post and honestly YES – but I’m working hard at overcoming that and just embracing my own journey/vision/life. My main strategy is to imagine myself as the captain of my own ship and those critics are just storms that pass or sea monsters trying to pull the ship under but ultimately they have no bearing on my journey. (It’s very metaphorical but somehow works!)

    Thanks for sharing this delightful post! 🙂

    1. Lisa Alioto

      Hi Hayley – it was actually Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert that inspired me to write this post. I may have to check out the Brene Brown book though! I LOVE your analogy!!

  12. This is a great post! So many people waste so much time and energy worrying over what people around might think of them. But the truth is nobody even notices them. We humans are very self-centered creatures and all we care about is how we look to others, while they worry about the exact same thing. I realized this in my teens already and haven’t given a toss even if someone does have an opinion about me. MY opinion of myself is the only opinion that matters 😉

    Teresa Maria | Outlandish Blog

    1. Lisa Alioto

      You rock Teresa – I wish I had this as nailed down as you do!!

  13. Great post! I used to think this way a lot when I was younger, but I’m starting to break free from that mindset. It’s so liberating! 🙂

    1. Lisa Alioto

      Isn’t it – I LOVE how freeing it is too!

  14. I’m definitely guilty of worrying too much about what others think of me but it’s something I’ve been trying to work on recently!

    Tash // A Girl with a View

    1. Lisa Alioto

      I have too Tash – a definite work in progress 🙂

  15. I think as I have gotten older I don’t worry as much about what people think, but at times it can be hard, can’t it? I think it can depend on the situation, but definitely so freeing when you let it go.

    thanks for sharing!

    Aimsy xoxo
    Aimsy’s Antics

    1. Lisa Alioto

      Definitely freeing Aimsy! 🙂 Nice to hear from you!

  16. I definitely worry about this all the time! I am slowly getting better at realising that I don’t have to be perfect all the time 🙂

    1. Lisa Alioto

      Good for you Samantha! 🙂 Progress is progress!

  17. A lot of people thrive on what others think of them and their invented perception. Instagram and Facebook are people’s curated lives through rose-colored glasses. It feels like a sickness for some people.

    1. Lisa Alioto

      Sometime it does go too far, doesn’t it. It’s always good to strike a healthy balance with this and closely monitor it so it stays that way.

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