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University bound?

Cheryl Gomery

So it’s the summer, you have done your exams & applied to university, you have the summer to essentially work/save/have fun with family & friends, especially if you are university bound. Whilst you have may or may not have received offers, the fact is moving to university is probably going to be your first time living alone.

Not only are you going to be anxious about how you will cope & feel, chances are your parents are going to feel the same. They will be considering where you are going, who you are hanging out with & what you are getting up too?

So I’m a mum with my only daughter going to uni in September. My daughter has chosen the university I went too, that’s a big tick for my anxiety & it’s less than an hour away again another tick for me personally.  She chose her university based on the subject she chose rather than my anxiety in a serendipitous hand of fate.

So she has chosen to live in halls, part of me is excited for her, but I’m also slightly terrified. I went to uni as a single parent & mature student with a six year old daughter, so I was the one on the course who was nominated as  the ‘mum’ type figure.  Those who came further away from families & had farther to travel found help & guidance in those of us with experience & other methods of support at university. 

My hopes for my daughter is that she learns balance between having fun & doing her studies. That she is able to do all of the fun things I wanted to do, but couldn’t due to my home responsibilities. I want her to have fun and have the best time whilst she is away.

I realise that my best friend is moving out of the house.  Ok so she doesn’t have to ‘move out’ or even take everything with her, but she won’t be within shouting distance & the dog will sit looking for her and waiting for her to come home every day.  I won’t see that beautiful face; that has made me smile every at since she has been born.   But she will be taking steps towards the next part of her life. I will always be here, but I have essentially done my part.

She keeps saying, what will I do without you? Thing is, she’s not without us, she has us (myself, her dad & our dog) & FaceTime (thank heavens) as well as new people who she will hopefully make lifelong alliances & friendships with; Her uni family.

Luckily she is well equipped enough to cope, she can wash & dry clothes & cook a meal, she has a pretty good idea how to manage things, she has been ‘my young carer’ for many years, I’m so looking forward to her learning how to just look after herself & learn to let go of being responsible for me, knowing all is good at home.

After all as parents, we don’t stop being there or being concerned or excited for you. It’s time to take the next steps towards the future.. it’s your time..

“Come to the edge”, he said. “We can’t, we are afraid” they responded. “Come to the edge” he said. “We can’t , we will fall!” They responded. “Come to the edge”, he said. And so they came; and he pushed them; and they flew.” – Guillaume Apollinaire

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