So when we wake up it will be time… this is what we as parents; work towards, these are one of the defining moments of us and our babies working towards that day where our offspring have achieved enough to actually go to university.
It should be something to celebrate, something that makes everyone happy & excited! Call me selfish; I am both of those things but I’m also heartbroken & lost almost.
That my little sidekick who has been by my side for 19 1/2 years goes off to start a new chapter in a new city, ok its less than an hour away but still!
I have been told by many of my friends that this is a wonderful achievement on my part, but what am I going to do when I turn around and your pretty face isn’t there, who is going to sass me back when I say something wrong & you laugh at me!
Who is going to be there to tell me whether something I’m wearing looks good or not, who is going to be there to make me smile, cry, go crazy and laugh at after 19 & 1/2 years that we have pretty much been inseparable.
You & I have been through more together than most mother & daughters! You have seen & heard more in your little life than many adults could have & could have dealt with.
I am excited to see where you go & I have every faith that you are going to take this step and change many lives, you have always been destined to do amazing things. You are beautiful and kind inside & out. One of the nicest people I know, you have always been this way since you were tiny.
As I close my tear filled eyes tonight all I can think about is that precious little girl with pigtails, who in your reception class was adamant the mini beast you wanted to dress as was ‘The Queen Bee’ I remember you being so proud of the wings & the little magic wand to keep the other bees in order (how happy you were that no one else was a bee). How we used to practice spellings walking up and down on the walk to school. How you would be so cross if you didn’t get 10/10.
How we would avoid slugs & snails in the winter as ‘it was slugs & snails moving days’ all the silly things, the messy cooking, the painting, the food fights, trampolining, all sorts of stuff…
The books that got put down half way through so we could change the endings. The Disney princess parties, the Halloween parties, the sleep overs and the trips to Disney & to on the train to Paignton & the beach. The time with granny & granddad.
Moving up to senior school and you being a rebel dying your hair & nearly getting excluded from school, Mermaid make up wars & even ‘Parody Tuesdays’ getting ready, singing the wrong words, tears of laughter.
To my best friend; we have been through thick & thin & we still hold hands and stayed strong.
You accepted Steve and we became the three musketeers!
We watched as excelled at school despite the things that could have easily derailed you, yet you kept going.
I can honestly say through all of the good times and the bad there is not one single day where I haven’t smiled because you came into my life. You have been my saving grace and my anchor so many times, the light at the end of the tunnel with that amazing smile.
I know that this big step, living in new surroundings, being independent is going to be a massive change for you, but it is for me & Steve too.
You don’t realise the impact that you have on a space, when you walk into a room you can light it up & your smart & funny! I am confident that you will be able to cope practically & be able to look after yourself well.
My biggest hope for you is that you find balance. The balance between sensible & fun, the looking after yourself from here on in….
Some wise teenager once said to me ‘mum, you can’t keep setting yourself on fire to keep others warm’ you are old beyond your age.
So as we all step into unknown territory and learn to live independently, please know that you are my best achievement & you & your brother will always be my greatest achievements! I look at you & I smile and think… I made that…
You are not moving out, just away to take the next steps & I have to let you be that person who can fly… I will always be here no matter what & thank you for letting me be your mum, I love you with all of my heart…
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