My story isn’t over yet.

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Cheryl Gomery

31 August 2019 0 comments

Sometimes life doesn’t treat as you hoped it would and it can be overwhelming. Waiting for exam results, having to decide what’s next, big changes such as moving, starting or losing a job, or even just that feeling that you are not good enough as you haven’t managed to achieve what it looks like others have.

The biggest killer of young people in The UK is suicide. Social media shows everyone living ‘their best life’ however these pictures and stories are curated to find the best pictures and staged to show the best snap shot to show ‘the perfect life’

I asked my 19 year old daughter, roughly how many pictures does she take when she wants to post a selfie?.. I was shocked by her answer which is…. 19/20 pictures! With only 1 or 2 being posted or saved. She honestly makes them look effortless. I asked if it’s an effort or her to post a selfie her answer was ‘hell yeah’.

So many people believe the social media hype of having the best life, clothes, make up, gadgets & portray that this makes the original poster ‘having the perfect life style’. However this is often a contrived silk screen & it doesn’t show reality and it puts pressure on others, making them feel inadequate & the pressure to try & attain to live the same lifestyle ‘keep up with the Jones’ as such.

I read recently that Nick Jonas & Priyanka Chopra have an agreement that they do not take their phones or anything with social media into the bedroom, so they do not have to have that social pressure on them both. They pretty much seem to be ‘living the dream’ but isn’t it refreshing to know that even people in the spotlight need to have that time out!

In Colorado in the USA 2013, ‘Project Semicolon’ was started to help prevent suicide. Project Semicolon was created with purpose of giving people the tools to help prevent suicide, with the campaign ‘Your life matters’ & ‘It’s not just a semicolon; it’s hope, it’s inspiration, It’s.Who.We.Are. The most popular tagline being ‘; My story isn’t over yet’.

Having lost my cousin to suicide, and having experienced ‘crisis points’ in my life. I decided to have a semicolon tattoo, mine is on my right wrist inside of a clover. I use this to remind myself that I have the choice to decide when my story ends; however my story isn’t over yet.

I find this non verbal reminder helpful and it reminds me of how much it hurt those of us left living after my cousins death and the how guilty we felt because we felt we didn’t reach out enough or done enough to have stopped this from happening.

Social media, has support groups and pages based around mental health and suicidal feelings so people have lots of options to find places to talk. Social media sites have been flooded with images of intricate pictures of beautiful tattoo’s of semicolon’s and words to the effect of my story isn’t over yet.

We all hit points in our lives where we are desperate and need help, reaching out to family & friends is a good way to help, sometimes we feel unable to reach out to those closest to us, there will be pastoral care at college or universities that will be able to offer counselling or other relevant services.

If you are still struggling charities like The Samaritains (www.samaritains.org) or call 116 123 are available to listen 24/7 365 days a year. Another organisation ‘Shout’ (www.giveusashout.org) text:85258 and text ‘shout’ offers a free texting service which allows you to interact without actually speaking if you feel more comfortable texting rather than speaking. Mind (www.mind.org.uk) signposts you and gives practical coping and distraction tips when you are struggling. Also your GP or 111 will be able to help you and signpost/refer you to wherever you both decide you should be.

The most important thing to remember is that there are people you can access if you feel desperate and it’s ok not to be ok. It’s finding the right support for your circumstance, for how you feel. Most importantly please remember that the things you see on social media are not always real, those images are carefully curated so those of us onlooking think others have the perfect story.

Even at 43, I look at ‘people and places’ and think, I could be, should be doing better.. but I have a roof over my head, food to go into my belly and pretty much everything I could ever want. When I feel unworthy then I have to remember that I am living MY version of my best life and that my story isn’t over yet; the best is yet to come.

#myneedtolive

#bigyouthgroup

#purposebeforeprofit

#heretohelp

#itsoknottobeok

#you have got this 

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