Today was a really hard day. I woke up not feeling great and then a series of small things happened to put me in a really bad mood. I’m talking about the great big stinking attitude kind of mood. The kind of mood where your mum would be sending you upstairs to “think about your attitude young lady!” Even just typing that phrase has me rolling my eyes at the amount of times I’ve heard it.
My attitude was leaving me in a position where I didn’t want to speak to my friends; too afraid I’d take it out on them. It really wasn’t a great position to be in. I had to decide to take myself off to my room, get some head space and look after myself.
First, it looked like calling my mum. I needed to get things off my chest and my mum is always a safe person to talk to about things. Then, I put on a face mask, poured myself a glass (read bottle) of wine and caught up on this weekend’s strictly. The evening alone allowed me time to unwind, reflect on the day. It also gave me chance to choose to forgive the people that had annoyed me earlier on. Soon I realised how much I relished the chance to step back and get some clarity about the day.
Well, it’s not because I want you to throw me a pity party. But, it’s because I want you to know that it’s okay to have days that you’re not okay. It’s okay to feel thoroughly p’ed off sometimes. There will be times when the little things get to you, it’s normal. At times, you need to have a rant to someone and that’s okay. You’re not alone if at times you have to remove yourself from the situation.
And that’s okay! Tomorrow is another day and I’ll try again. If tomorrow is just as bad, that’s okay too. It won’t be like this forever. The most important thing is that on the bad days, I look after myself. There’ll be no beating myself up for not being gracious enough, or thick skinned enough. For now, there will be self love, lots of treats and all the Netflix I want.
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